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Million dollar idea that will never make a million dollars.
I was at the Naples Zoo last week with my kids, and much to our surprise they had added the attraction, “FEED THE GIRAFFES.” Of course from the second we entered the zoo on that balmy 89 degree day,...
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pregnancy, a stroll down memory lane.
It’s been a while since I’ve been knocked up. I got pregnant with my first son on our honeymoon in St. Lucia. When we returned I was all itchy and bitchy and my boobs hurt and I couldn’t poop. I …...
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go to jail, ding-dong.
I’ve gotta brag, I’ve never been to jail. Juvie, sure, but not actual jail. There are at least 47 occasions on which I should have been thrown in jail. Somehow I managed to dodge that bullet, but...
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the things you can do with tape these days…
Happy Mothers Day! Just a quick post, I was poking around online and stumbled across a few gems. Here are a few reasons that I’m glad I don’t drink anymore: This guy must have a really nice group of...
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bicycles, st. patricks day, and palm trees
What do you get when you cross 10 pints of guinness, a bicycle, a dog leash spiked into the ground, a 4 ton coral landscaping rock and a splintered palm tree? 4 days on your back and a prescription for...
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do you mind if i fart?
Back in 1992 I was a sophomore in college, art school to be precise. Every Thursday night was 2 for 1 Ladies Night in the local club, Funkshuns. Yes, it was spelled that way. The club was all black,...
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understanding and emotional hemorrhaging
I was sorting through the 9000 random files that seem to clutter up my desktop, organizing, deleting…and I stumbled upon this. I forgot I had ever written it, just a rant I had written about 6 weeks...
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Closing Time
It was my cousin’s baptism. I was 13. We celebrated at my uncle’s place. There was a great deal of alcohol, and drugs. My mother thought it would be funny if I joined the festivities by handing me my...
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keep the change.
When I was drunk I used to have a fucking blast amusing myself. The world was my playground, and I was usually the obnoxious, bossy kid that would throw sand in your face and then point and laugh,...
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a bit about me : step inside my head
As a self-deprecating recovering alcoholic, and freshly divorced mother of two wildly awesome young boys, I often wear a very tight tee-shirt emblazoned with a bulls-eye, the fabric of which is woven...
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